Monday, February 23, 2009

Cloudy.

I don't have very many bad days. Ever. I mean, if I feel like a day is going to be bad.. I make the most of it. I try to look on the positive of every little negative. But the bad days.. as sporatic as they may be, happen. They happen and I sometimes have a meltdown. Or I just call The Sista and take it all out on her. Or sometimes I hold it all in and struggle through the day. Sometimes we miss out on the one person who is waiting for us to call on Him..

The past few days have been 'those kinds of days'. I've felt God tugging at my heart. I finally gave up on something that I've been struggling through for the past week.. and I let myself be honest with myself, along with a few people. I called the Sista and gave her an ear-full, along with some hysterical sobs.. and I was met with encouragement. A 30 minute conversation that consisted of comforting words, words about God's points of view, and words of love. I realized then that even through heartache.. God has me in his arms. He is cradling me and saying.. "It's gonna be okay. It's okay if no one understands.. because I UNDERSTAND you.. 100%"

So.. I beg you. Even when you think your day couldn't possible get any worse.. fall on your knees. Cry out to Him. He holds all of your tears in the palm of His hand. Really! He spells out his love for you CLEARLY in His word.

So. Days are going to be bad. You are going to cry.. you are going to want to give up. You are going to want to look at God and cry out.. "WHY?! Why are you doing this to me?" But.. I challenge you to look at things with God's eyes. Look at the little letdowns and the big challenges as a way to see God- in a new way. He's raising you to be a strong Daughter (or son) of Him.. and sometimes, things have to be a little cloudy. He'll reveal Himself as the sunshine before you know it! Just trust.

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