Sometimes.. I lose words. I have a thought on my heart, but when I go to say it- it's impossible to find words to even begin to describe what's begging to be said. Since words are hard to come by, sentences are utterly impossible to form. I have a thousand emotions to throw into one little paragraph, and they just won't fit. They can't. Even though they won't be put into anything that makes any kind of sense, God is still weighing on my heart for them to be said. Somehow. Some way. So, without further adieu, this... is what's on my heart.
Why is it so hard to give Christ every little piece of me? Why? Why do I insist on complicating a perfect plan? I would really love to be able to see what's going to happen. I'm blessed. I don't deserve any of what I have. I wish I could climb into God's lap right now and hug him. For a really, really long time. I'm in awe.. I'm delivered. I'm loved. Saved. Speechless. I just formed a solid friendship with a sister in Christ, who is my accountability partner now, and I'm already completely and utterly thankful for her. I need to love more. It's not my place to judge. I'm totally captivated by Christs' love. Sometimes.. in the middle of a hymn, I want to jump up and dance in circles.. because my God reigns. I pray for this generation. I pray for people to rise up.. I pray that I won't be scared to rise up for Who I love the most. I want to cry when I see a child of God's start running away.. sometimes it overwhelms me more than everything else. I need God in every second of my day.. it doesn't work without Him. I don't belong to this world.. I've already RSVP'd to heaven. Oh God, break my heart for what breaks yours. God, thank you for calling me your beloved. Messed up, worried, loud, silly, lazy, weak me. I am NOTHING without you. Nothing.