Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Completely God breathed blog.

Sometimes I feel a little defeated. I get discouraged.. easily. I wish I didn't. I am usually the one full of optimism. Never ending happiness.. encouragement flows readily out of me. I give the credit for my joy to my MAKER. Honestly, I was blessed with the gift of a cheerful spirit. But.. sometimes I need cheering up. I mess up.. alot. I beat myself up. I cry. I rarely see myself as remotely good enough. I second guess myself. I hate putting my trust in someone else. I put up walls. I dance around the truth. I keep secrets. I have that sinking feeling in my stomach more than I should. I worry. ALOT. I think I have control over my life.. when I don't. I doubt God. I get mad at Him. I ask for forgiveness SO much that God HAS to be getting annoyed. But.. He isn't. He loves me. He loves messed up me. Dressed up me. Sloppy me. Lazy me. Silly me. Honest me. HE LOVES ME. No strings attached. I may try to complicate that.. but He doesn't. He looks me in the eye and forgives me. He forgets. Second chances are a given with Him. He doesn't look at my past. HE WANTS MY FUTURE. He holds me when I cry.. and pours sunlight over me to dance in when I am happy. He never, ever asks me to do something that I am not able to do. He has a way. He asks me to do things for a reason.. He blesses me. He challenges me. He gave me His word.. and expects me to know it. He never, ever makes mistakes. EVER. Everything that He's ever made is perfect. It is beautiful. It deserves praise. He demands respect. He expects me to use the brain He's given me. He expects us to use OUR brains, not someone else's to pass the test. He made your unruley curly hair. He made your crooked teeth. Your pale skin. Your big nose. YOU. When He looks at you.. He sees beauty. He sees a masterpiece. He looks at you dogging your body in the mirror everyday and frowns. He KNOWS how beautiful His creation is.. but He doesn't quite understand why His CREATION is displeased. He listens to you talk about that girl. He pokes and prods at your heart for you to invite her to get coffee with you. You don't. You think.. someone else will handle it. He gets to that girl in one way or the other, but He had an open door waiting for you. You chose to shut the door and run. We sit in worship. We sing the songs.. go through the motions.. but crave glory for ourselves. My God is the god of LOVE. He made it.. He made you to carry out His love. You aren't on this world to make millions. You aren't here to graduate Valedictorian, or win the superbowl. He just throws those blessings in to make you smile.. They don't define you. HE defines you. He should be our identity. I find myself searching for identity in other things. People. Clothes. Teams. Clubs. Music. Where did we lose the simple fact that HE is what defines us? He made us.. He blesses us.. HE pulled us out the mirey pit. The people didn't. The clothes didn't save us. The teams and clubs sure didn't hang on a cross. The music doesn't say who loves us. Life on earth is just a blip. It is PRECIOUS.. it can be taken in an instant. We are creatures made to worship.. and we are all about complicating that. I am all about complicating that. Sometimes, it's all about sitting down next to the guy everyone picks on. Hugging that girl who got caught with drugs. Speaking up for someone who can't speak for themselves. Loving the people who don't look like you. Giving away something JUST because someone needs it more than you do. Thanking the God that made you. That made me. That made US. Sitting at His feet just to praise Him. Just to listen. He is chasing you.. whether you have chosen to look behind you or not. He won't stop chasing until you fall into His arms and accept. Just let Him be HIM. Stop making it about the world.