PAUSE. Think back to age five. You are standing in front of the mirror in your mommy's highest heels, donning a too-big-and-too-frou-frou dress: your hair is pulled back in a purple scrunchie and you have some dandelions in your hands from the backyard. Your bestfriend is standing beside you, patiently awaiting her turn to walk down the aisle (which is so cleverly manufactured from a single white sheet and some paper weights holding it down against the wind).
We all were there, weren't we? We were all having impromptu weddings in the backyard with our neighborhood sisters day after day.. Pretending that true love was ours and that we were finally living happily ever after.
Sometimes.. I find myself searching for happily-ever-after. I think that being skinnier, prettier, more athletic, best dressed, louder, sillier, quieter, smarter and 'cooler' is going to make me feel whole.. like it's going to even come close to filling me up. Then.. after I go through the typical "Ugh, Gross" moments at the mirror, I have a change of heart. Sometimes it takes a few minutes or hours to sink in.. but then it hits me. And, it's not a painful realization.. it's a overwhelming peace that reminds me that I'm loved. Dearly loved.
While I'm looking in the mirror, tearing myself down, I am reminded of a verse that I have posted on my mirror in bright pink letters. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made". I am forced to take a step back.
I'm always making myself busy searching for my happily ever after. I look for it in guys, in money, in clothing.. when my God is standing at the top of the castle in His best suit.. romancing me, loving me and wooeing me. Once again, I find myself turning around and running towards silly flings that last for a short time.
I've been challenging myself lately to fall in love with a love that will last. A love that is unfailing and unmatched.. A man who is beautiful, whole, lovely, unimaginable and indescribible!
Maybe one day soon we'll put on the white frilly dress and walk towards the castle.. KNOWING that the Prince of our dreams is waiting at the top. Waiting patiently but anxiously for His Princess to just give up on trivial love and fleeting riches.. and climb the stairs already.
He's wearing his best suit and anticipating the moment where He can look you in the eyes and whisper, "With me, you CAN have your fairytale. Your happily ever after. Just stop running. Stop chasing. Just surrender"