Well.. hi there.
It's been months. Not just a few months, either. Months upon months have passed since I have been able to sit down and put into words what my life is as of now.
New blog. New blog-name. New everything. More simple. More me. I'll explain why in just a second, so hold on for a minute.
In the past few months, I have eliminated alot from my life. The number 1 thing being.. drumroll, please.. FACEBOOK! Yes. Facebook. A Social-Networking loving girl needed to condense- so Facebook, gone. And, months later, I can confidently say, I do not miss it. Not an ounce. Not even a little bit. I pinky promise. I breathe easier without it.
Now, newness. Why the newness, you ask? Well.. if you can hang tight for a second, I'd love to explain.
If you're new to this blog, I'll set a little basis for what I'm fixing to blabber to you about. I'm a girl who has heard the name of Jesus her entire life. His name was whispered by my mother in prayers while I was still in the womb, and then whispered by me as soon as I was old enough to talk. As a child, you could find me at every VBS, choir practice, camp, retreat and event that my church had to offer. The name of Jesus has always been apart of who I am. A part of who I wanted to be. As years of camps, practices & lock-ins passed, and I began to see Jesus in a new light. This Savior.. He saved ME. Little ole Lauren. My thoughts? "Oh, cool." Thought I had the Jesus-thing down. Didn't. Sure didn't.
Highschool was full of mission trips, Bible studies, more retreats and lots of the Word of God. I got poured into by BEAUTIFUL, lovely, amazing men and women of God. Continuously being filled. Cup running over. My thoughts? "Jesus is wonderful. Beautiful. Majestic. But I think I'll hang on to some of the stuff I like. Yep. Not letting go of everything. I mean.. he'll forgive me for it, right?"
Then.. college. Here I go. Big mess of a girl with her bookbag on walking into a big, scary, new campus. No dear friends to have lunch with. No one in my classes to laugh with. No clue what I want to do with my life. No clue what God wants for me. No desire to seek it out. Achy. Lonely. Anxious. On the edge. Tired. Not me.
Here's the thing. At a very young age, PRAISE GOD, I found salvation. Salvation found me. I pulled my heart out of my chest and placed it ever so gently in my Savior's hand. Did I leave it there? Not completely. I'd take it out, mess things up, then sit it back in His hand. (By the way... NOT a good idea. Not safe. Not okay. I don't advise it.) I thought I had it all together. I thought, "I'm a mess.. but God takes me as I am. He'll forgive me." Little did I know.. God was DYING to just transform this mess of a girl. To take my heart and LOCK His fingers around it for good. He wanted control. But I did too.
Flash forward to this Fall. Sometimes, things happen that force you to look up to Jesus. Crawl into His lap. Ask Him to soothe you. Catch your tears. LOVE on you. One thing lead to another and, quickly, I was in that place. DESPERATE for a glimpse of Jesus. Desperate for His control over my life. So, I surrendered. Wallowing in a pillow full of tears one night, I sat up, and took my hands off of my heart, let God's fingers encase my heart fully, letting His hand cover it. I let it go. Pulled my hand away. Completely. Finally. Then, I grabbed His free hand with one of my free hands. And then, just like that, He took off running. And so did I. New creation. New life. New freedom. New love for my Master.
Hoping that you'll pop back in to this old blog and listen to me babble about the pure crazy WONDER that is my Savior. New chapter. New BOOK. New story. Let's go.
Psalm 30:11-12 You DID it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough.